The Quality of Your Relationships Can Make or Break Deals

Every day I am reminded of this truth; “My relationships are the most important aspect of my success equation.” My skill is second.

For the sake of the point let’s assume you have skill. Let us further assume that given the opportunity you can display that skill excellently. You have spent the time refining, rehearsing and scrutinizing what you do and you really are good at what you do.

OK, you are ready for the big break. Then what do you do? It’s time for a little perspective.

Is music, in whatever area in which you are involved, what you really want to do as a career or is it just what you happen to be doing right now? It’s important to be honest with yourself about this because the answer often governs your choices and results. When you operate from the perspective of music being what you happen to be doing as a means to some other end, then very often the contacts you make are viewed only as someone that can do something for you.

Really great examples of this happen all the time; most people won’t provide the help that in many cases they would when you only emphasize and talk about your own interests.

I believe at the core of our being we are all selfish. However, getting what you want can most readily be achieved by helping others get what they want. This is not necessarily less selfish, just a more effective way of achieving your end result.

I’m on a number of different social network websites daily, interacting with friends, casual acquaintances and people I have only just met. I’ll share an example from MySpace. I’ve gotten three different types of friend requests:

1. People that make the request, then do nothing else after I have accepted. They don’t ask for anything and they don’t offer anything. I’ve had some of these around for a year or more without any additional interaction.
2. People who make the request and then follow up with communication only about themselves and what they do, what they are selling, or what they want. I don’t even know them so why would I care, especially when they have demonstrated zero interest in me beyond what I can give or do for them. In some cases, they want to leave a comment on my page but the comment isn’t about me or anything I do; it’s all about using my space as a billboard for their information. Unless we have some interaction, I reject all these requests.
3. People who attempt to connect on some level which always leads to opportunities. The attempt to show interest in another person makes that person far more receptive to helping you in your areas of interest.

Quality relationships are the emphasis of career minded individuals. Whether your motivation is genuinely about being part of a win / win situation or you just operate form the perspective of the cliché, “you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar,” the point is the same; when you show interest in others, they will show interest in you. When you help others win, they will help you win.

Now, for the cynics out there who have collected many stories to the contrary and are quick to refer to them as examples of how or why they got burned, I say; yes, there are those who will take advantage of kindness, but even this can be offset with experience. If you get burned, learn from the experience and conduct your dealings differently next time.

If you get burned twice the same way, then you either needed the lesson reinforced, or you should begin questioning your commitment to success in your chosen field of work. Getting burned while helping others is avoidable, but it requires work on your part.

Careers are built upon ever improved skills, constant learning and relationship development. Relationships very often make or break deals. Consider this the next time you make a new business contact.

Wisdom from the Grind: The quality of your relationships can make or break deals!