Sharing My Authentic Self

This writing process is becoming more and more interesting to me. Mostly because I am challenged by my perceptions about what should be written. I get to experience my resistance to self-exposure.

I do enjoy sharing my passion and experience but I realize that I also inevitably expose parts of myself that don’t allow me to control the perceptions other form about me. I now realize that in my daily life my writing says more about me than my music does.

I have certain topics I love talking about in song as well as when I write rhymes or spoken word. In song, I love writing about great sex or romance and relationships. Not in an overtly sexual way, but in a more poetic or abstract way.

When it comes to rhyme and spoken word I love to write either to stimulate thought or to shed light on what seems empty or uninspiring to me. That covers my general song and rhyme writing / spoken word style.

However, when I’m writing in my journal which is raw and uncut I feel free to express myself knowing it’s for my eyes only. I’ve been journaling daily since 2005 and I’ve gained great insight into my own habits and tendencies that in my daily life I occasionally overlook.

It has been very rewarding and sometimes distressing to look back on my life one year ago on any day I choose and see; when I woke up, how I felt, what I was doing, what was the challenge at that time and where was I in my success process. Now that I, at the suggestion of my BanginBeatsByREL.com venture partner, have committed to a weekly newsletter, I can say I am being stretched.

Let me be clear about this; writing is writing to me and I believe it all flows from the same creative place. But, somehow this “Just My Thoughts” writing feels more intimate. I once heard someone say; intimacy broken down is “into me you see”.

The challenge to me is not to fear this level of exposure; I have been on stage many times in front of large numbers of people, yet when I begin the newsletter writing process I liken my nervousness to that which I felt when I hit the stage my first 15 or 20 times. This is the life of an artist in a new area of artistry. My artistry will expose me, showing you who I am and if I observe, showing me myself as well.

I’ve often said that I don’t believe in “writer’s block”. A writer I know drafts somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 to 20 pages a day. He also says writer’s block doesn’t exist. He says, “If you can’t write what you want at the time, write something else and the desired topic will arrive when it’s supposed to.”

What I have written so far is a perfect example of his point; I didn’t know what to write about when I started, but I began with the sentence “This writing process is becoming more and more interesting to me.” This has brought me back to my original point; I hate uncontrolled exposure. Oops, too late!

I intend to write this newsletter for a long time, so get ready for the transparency I can’t avoid. I am a less-than-perfect perfectionist persisting to attempt perfection while recognizing the best I can do is what I do. This is my best today, which is, well, perfect. Meaning, I am the only me I can be at this time – perfect! I share my authentic self with you; good, bad and indifferent.

Just my thoughts!